Trudging Through Heartbreak
by BigTimeRush-BTR
Summary: After Logan and Camille break up and she starts seeing Steve, Logan finds it hard to move past the heartache. What he doesn't know is that he's not as alone as he thinks he is.


**Hey, guys. I wrote this story for the Valentine's Day challenge from the BTR Plot Adoption Forum. I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

"You could just go over there and talk to her, you know."

Logan momentarily freezes as Kendall comes into his line of vision, taking the seat in front of him on a table near the Palm Woods pool. He frowns at the blond but says nothing, his eyes once again moving in the direction of where Camille is standing a few feet away, talking to Steve.

_Steve_. Logan wants to hate him for being the one to go after Camille after she and he broke up, but he can't. Steve's never actually done anything bad to him; he has never hurt him intentionally, and because of that, Logan can't bring himself to hate him.

But still, he can't help the way his heart clenches and sinks every time he sees them together, smiling, laughing, hugging, _kissing_. He feels sick just at the thought of it.

"I can't," he says finally, forcing himself to look away. "She's with Steve."

"So?"

"No, Kendall. I mean, she's _with_ Steve."

"Oh." A frown that mirrors his own appears on Kendall's face as he turns around to look to where Camille and Steve are standing, laughing at something that Steve's just said. "She looks happy," he notes, before turning back to Logan. "I'm sorry, Loges."

Logan swallows hard, wanting to look away from the happy couple, but feeling as though he's unable to do so. "She does," he says under his breath, blinking back the sensation of tears that has started to burn at his eyes. "Which is why I can't just go over there and talk to her, or ask her out, or anything like that. I can't– She deserves to be happy, even if… even if it's not with me."

He feels a hand rest on top of his, fingers tightening against his own. "You deserve to be happy, too," Kendall tells him, his eyes softening.

"I don't know. Maybe I… maybe I wasn't good enough."

"Hey, don't say that." Kendall's frown seems to deepen at his words. "Of course you were. Of course you _are_. Just because things didn't work out with her, it does not mean that you weren't good enough."

"Thanks, but…"

"No buts." Kendall's eyebrows knit together, his hold on Logan's hand disappearing. "Listen, I know tomorrow's Valentine's Day, and you probably plan to spend it cooped up in the apartment, reading or doing homework, but I was wondering…"

"Wondering what?" Logan asks, eyeing Kendall with curiosity.

"If you wanted to go out and watch a movie or something."

"Just the two of us?"

"Well, yeah," Kendall says, as if it should be obvious. "James has a date with some girl he just met, and I think Carlos is going to try asking out one of the Jennifers."

"One of the Jennifers?" Logan chuckles lightly and shakes his head. "Doubt that'll go well."

Kendall shrugs. "Carlos has his ways," he says with a smile. "Maybe one of them will actually say yes."

"Maybe."

"But anyway, I was kind of hoping _you'd_ say yes."

"I don't know… I don't really feel like celebrating or doing anything out of the ordinary."

"We wouldn't be, really. It's just us, hanging out." Kendall gives him a dimpled smile, and then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a slip of paper. "There's a fair downtown," he says, pushing the paper towards Logan.

Up close, Logan can see it's a brochure for the fair Kendall is talking about.

"I think it opened recently, and I was thinking we could go." He pauses, and then adds, "If you want to, that is. I thought it'd be cool."

"That would be cool," Logan tells him. "Are you sure, though? Because if there's anything else that you had planned, you don't have to cancel just for me."

"Logie, Jo moved halfway across the world, and there is no other girl in this place that interests me, so… yes, I'm sure. Besides, I'd much rather spend it with you."

"You're just saying that," Logan says, rolling his eyes.

"No. I mean it."

"You– you do?"

"I do."

Logan can't help the smile that spreads across his face, his cheeks reddening. "O-okay."

"Great! I look forward to it."

Logan watches as Kendall rises from his seat, pushing his chair in. "Now, I suggest you come with me."

"Where are we going?"

"Inside," Kendall says, as he grabs Logan by the arm and pulls him to his feet. "Seeing them together is only going to hurt you more," he adds quietly. "Let's go inside, watch a movie or something."

Logan sighs but nods his head, following Kendall as he starts to walk towards the Palm Woods entrance. He takes one last glance at Camille before stepping foot into the lobby, his heart feeling heavy in his chest. Kendall appears to take notice of this, because as soon as they're inside the elevator, an arm wraps around his shoulders, pulling him close.

"I know it hurts," Kendall whispers, his hand rubbing up and down Logan's arm. "But it gets better. I promise."

"I feel like it never will."

"But it will. Just give it time."

"How much time?" he asks, even though he knows that Kendall probably does not have the answer.

"As much time as you need."

Logan nods and inhales sharply just as the elevator comes to a stop and the doors open. He steps foot outside, with Kendall following closely behind, and trudges towards the apartment. His body feels as if it's moving in autopilot, his movements feeling robotic, as if he's not truly the one in control.

As soon as they've entered Apartment 2J, he makes his way towards the orange couch and lets his body plop down against it, his head lolling to the side, gaze cast straight ahead. It's not long before he feels the cushion dip with somebody else's weight. He doesn't have to look up to know that it's Kendall.

"Want a cookie?" Kendall offers a moment later, nudging Logan on the shoulder with something hard.

Lifting his head, Logan realizes that the hard object is a plate, piled up with chocolate chip cookies.

"Mom made them," Kendall says, giving Logan's shoulder one last nudge. "They're practically fresh."

"Thanks." Logan reaches forward and takes a cookie, forcing a smile onto his face. He nibbles on it for a few seconds, before letting his arm fall to his lap. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"I-I don't know. I just feel like… like I'm making you worry, and you don't need that. I know tomorrow will probably be hard for you too, and I don't wanna add to that."

"Logan, you have no reason to apologize. I _want_ to spend the day with you. I'm not doing it out of pity."

"I didn't say you were." Logan bites on his bottom lip, his shoulders slumping, head moving to rest against the back cushions. "I just feel bad."

"It's okay, Logie. Frankly, I'd rather go out than spend it cooped up in here too."

"Are you sure?" Logan asks, not being completely convinced by Kendall's words.

"I'm sure," Kendall says with a small smile. "Let's just try to enjoy ourselves, okay?"

"Okay." Logan smiles back, reaching for another cookie from the plate that is now sitting on Kendall's lap.

* * *

"You ready?" Kendall pokes his head into his and Logan's bedroom the next afternoon to find Logan seated on his bed, with his head buried in a book.

"Sure," Logan says as he places the book on the nightstand beside his bed, but not before placing a piece of paper in between the pages to mark the place he'd left off on. "Are you?"

Kendall nods and opens the door wider so that Logan can step out.

No sooner have they stepped out of their room that Carlos comes sprinting out of his, his clothes a wrinkled mess, with hair to match. Logan takes a step back in surprise and ends up tripping over his own two feet.

"Whoa! Where are you going in such a hurry?" Kendall asks as he places his hands on Logan's shoulders to steady him. "You okay?" he asks in a softer tone, causing Logan's cheeks to turn a light shade of pink in embarrassment.

"I'm fine," he says, his attention then on Carlos, who is busy rummaging through a basket of clean clothes that Mrs. Knight had left in the living room a few minutes before. "What are you doing?" he asks after Carlos shows no signs of having paid any attention to Kendall's question.

"Looking for something to wear! What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Uh..."

Beside him, Kendall chuckles and nudges Logan on the side with his elbow. "For your date with… one of the Jennifers?"

"Brown-haired Jennifer," Carlos corrects him, turning around on his heels. "I can't figure out what to wear!"

"Where are you two going?" Logan asks as he starts to pick up some of the clothes Carlos had carelessly thrown on the floor in his frenzy. "You made a mess, by the way."

"To see a movie."

"A movie?" Logan quirks an eyebrow. "You don't have to get dressed up for a movie."

"Yeah, just be yourself," Kendall adds and shoves a discarded hoodie into Carlos' unawaiting arms.

"I can't be myself! This is a _Jennifer_ we're talking about!"

"Los, you're fine the way you are," Logan says, offering his friend a reassuring smile. "Just do what you always do."

Beside him, Carlos lets out a heavy sigh, and then proceeds to pull the hoodie over his head. "Fine, but if she runs away, that's on you two."

"Whatever you say, Litos." Kendall chuckles and ruffles Carlos' hair as he passes by him on his way to the door. "Come on, Logie, let's go."

"Good luck," Logan tells Carlos, before following Kendall out the door and closing it behind them. The two make their way towards the elevator then and wait for it to arrive on their floor.

"Thanks for this," Logan suddenly blurts out, breaking the silence between them. "I think it'll really help to, you know, get my mind off things."

"I hope it will," Kendall says just as the elevator door comes to a stop and the doors slowly open.

Logan feels his stomach plummet at the sight that greets him once they do.

"Hey, Logan. Hey, Kendall."

"H-Hey." Logan swallows hard, feeling as if he's going to tip over at any moment. He suddenly can't remember how to breathe or how to form any connection of words that will actually make sense.

"Hey, Camille," Kendall says beside him, his lips lifting up into a smile. "How's it going?"

"Good," Camille tells him, but she's not looking at Kendall – she's looking at Logan. Logan, who can't seem to stop staring at her either, too paralyzed by surprise and anxiety. He wants to run away, wants to escape the scene and not look back, but his feet seem to be glued to the floor below them. "Are you two going somewhere?" she asks, and Logan opens his mouth to respond, but Kendall beats him to it.

"We're going to the fair," he says and slings an arm over Logan's shoulder. "What about you?"

"I am too, actually—"

_Oh no._

"—with Steve."

_No no no._

"I don't feel well." The words escape his lips before he can even stop them, and suddenly, he's running back in the direction of the apartment, his footsteps heavy, breathing labored. He doesn't stop until he's inside, with his back leaning against the closed door.

His chest feels tight and his eyes are stinging. His vision goes blurry in a matter of a few seconds and he collapses to the floor, his hands moving to cover his ears.

"Logan? Logie, are you in there?"

He hears Kendall's voice but says nothing as the doorknob jiggles and the door is pushed open, or as open as it'll go, as he's only a few inches away from it.

"Hey, Logie, look at me." Kendall sits down on the floor beside him, his hands moving to cup Logan's face in between them. "Hey, it's gonna be okay."

"N-No." He inhales sharply, and then lets out a shuddery breath, his hands shaking where they rest on his lap, formed into fists.

"What?"

"It hurts too much, Kendall. Seeing her with him. It hurts too much."

"I know it does," Kendall whispers and moves his hands to rest on top of Logan's, momentarily stopping them from shaking. "Do you just want to stay here? We could—"

"What's going on?"

Logan freezes at the sound of James' voice. His gaze moves to where Carlos and James are standing near the hallway that leads to their bedrooms. As they catch sight of him, though, they both start to walk to where he and Kendall are sitting on the floor.

"Did something happen?" Carlos asks as his eyes take in the state Logan is in. "Why are you crying? Are you okay?"

"I—"

"We bumped into Camille on our way out," Kendall says before Logan can get a word out. "We were gonna go to the fair that opened a few days ago, but," he pauses, his eyes finding Logan's, "she said she was going too… with Steve."

"Oh. Logie, I'm sorry," Carlos says and kneels down in front of him. "That really sucks."

"Is there anything we can do?" James asks, coming up behind him.

"No. It's— I'm okay."

"You're clearly not," James cuts in. "I can cancel my date and stay here—"

"No. Go on your date. I'll be fine."

"But, Logan—"

"I mean it."

"Logie, we really wouldn't mind," Carlos insists. "You're more important."

"I'll be okay, really," he says, forcing the best smile he can muster onto his face. "Go have fun. We can hang out when the two of you get back."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

James and Carlos exchange a mirrored look of worry, and then turn to Kendall, who is watching Logan intently.

"Okay," James says, sounding defeated. "I won't be gone long. I'm just going out for dinner, so once I get back, we can do something fun, okay?"

Logan nods inaudibly and watches as James backs out of the living room and back into his room.

"Logan—" Carlos starts but is cut off by Logan.

"Go," he says. "I'll be fine for a few hours."

Sighing, Carlos nods slowly and stands up, offering his hand for Logan to take. Once he has pulled Logan to his feet, he reaches for Kendall.

"Thanks," Kendall says, his voice quieter than normal.

"I think I'm gonna go to my room," Logan says, keeping his eyes away from Kendall and Carlos. "I have a headache."

He doesn't wait for either Kendall or Carlos to respond. Instead, he rushes to his room, collapses on the bed as soon as he's inside, and pulls his comforter over his head. The sobs come before he can stop them, forcing their way up his throat and through his lips. He shoves his face into his pillow so that they're muffled, not wanting to give any of the boys more of a reason to worry, and curls in on himself.

He doesn't even realize he's fallen asleep, until he's suddenly being shaken awake, a voice calling out his name.

"What—" The word gets caught in his throat as he pries his eyes open and is met by the sight of Camille seated on the edge of his bed, looking down at him with worry in her eyes. "What–What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk," Camille says softly, pulling her hand back and brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "If that's okay, of course."

"It's… it's fine."

"Are you sure? I know what I said earlier upset you. I'm sorry, Logan. I didn't realize…"

"No, don't apologize." Logan sighs, running a hand through his bed-ridden hair as he sits up. "You shouldn't apologize for seeing someone else. We broke up. It's-it's okay for you to see other people."

"I know, but… you're hurting."

"I'll be okay," he says, his lips forming into a tight line. "It's not your job to fix this, Camille."

"I just… I don't want to hurt you."

"You're not," he says softly. "I think… I think it's just gonna take some time for me to move on."

"If… If it helps, I haven't moved on completely either," Camille says, her eyes locking with Logan's.

"You— What?"

"It's hard. I still… I still wish things between us had worked out. I'm still... sorry about what I did."

_James_, Logan thinks, his heart plummeting. It was the reason they had broken up to begin with – because she and James had kissed. And even though they had apologized and he had forgiven them, he was still slightly hurt.

"Maybe—" He swallows hard and lets out a slow, shaky breath. "Maybe someday we'll find our way back."

Camille looks away, her gaze moving to a spot on the wall next to his bed. He sees her reach up and brush a tear that's managed to make its way down her cheek. "Maybe," she says almost in a whisper, unable to look him in the eye.

"I just wish it was easier," Logan starts, shifting uncomfortably where he's sitting, "to be around you. I know we said we'd still be friends, but it's… it's hard."

"I know it is," Camille whispers. "But that doesn't mean we should stop trying." She pauses then, and Logan can practically see the wheels turning in her head. "You're a great guy, Logan, and any person would be lucky to have you in their life, as a friend or anything else, and I just… I want to have you in my life. I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either."

"Then let's try. To be friends, I mean. Because, I think lately, we've both been kind of avoiding each other."

"I can try," Logan says, feeling his eyes well up with tears again. "For you, I'll definitely try."

"Thank you." Camille smiles, a watery smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Is… Is it okay if I hug you? You can totally say no, but—"

Before she can finish, Logan wraps both of his arms around her, pulling her close. "Of course," he whispers, as she returns the hug, relaxing against his hold.

A few seconds later, she pulls away, brushing a few stray tears from her face. "I should go. I kinda have to…"

"It's fine, go," he says, giving her a tiny smile. "I'll see you around. And, thank you, for checking up on me."

"Of course."

He watches as she stands up from the bed and walks towards the bedroom door, pausing at the entrance. "I'll see you later," she says, turning to look at him one last time.

"See you."

The door closes behind her, and it's not until then that he falls back on the bed, his head hitting his pillow. His heart still aches, and there's still a void that he's sure nothing will fill anytime soon, but they're talking again, and at least that's something.

* * *

**I apologize if the ending sounded rushed. I had a bit of trouble with it, but I hope it made sense regardless. Thank you for reading. :)**

**~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)**


End file.
